1 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,008 - Watch out for that table. - Uh-huh, I see it. 2 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,709 Gee, I don't know how your mother is gonna get 3 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,445 all this stuff in that little, little apartment? 4 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:16,215 Well, you've never seen the inside of her handbag. 5 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,883 Heavy? 6 00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:22,454 Yes, but no heavier than other boxes you've watched us carry. 7 00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:23,822 Would you mind licking this stamp? 8 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,525 Can't you lick that yourself? 9 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,460 Not with chocolate on my tongue. 10 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,895 Where'd you get the chocolate? 11 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,730 It's the funniest thing. 12 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,566 I found a whole box in the back of your closet. 13 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:40,239 I was going to give that to Kate for Valentine's Day. 14 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,708 Oh, Willie, that's sweet. 15 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,644 - He ate the whole box. - I'm sorry. 16 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:48,347 You've no respect for personal property. 17 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:51,183 You walk in anytime, you take my candy.. 18 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,918 I said I was sorry. 19 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,221 Whining's not gonna bring it back. 20 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,090 Willie, it's-it's-it's alright. 21 00:00:58,092 --> 00:01:02,327 Maybe he forgot the.. He did. He forgot the second layer. 22 00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:04,797 Right. I only licked those. 23 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,835 Great. Now nobody can eat them. 24 00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:15,574 [theme music] 25 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:45,604 [music continues] 26 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,838 Brian, give that to me. 27 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,674 I'll put it over here with the rest of grandma's things. 28 00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:26,645 Kate, am I mistaken or is that a cat stretcher? 29 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,649 - It's an oar. - Or what? 30 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,486 Mom, why does grandma keep an old oar? 31 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:38,357 Oh, well, when grandpa was courting grandma, he took her.. 32 00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,359 ...canoeing down the Missouri River. 33 00:02:40,361 --> 00:02:43,529 Then why would they need a cat stretcher? 34 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:48,500 ALF, why are you sending a ham to Sally Field? 35 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,270 It's my valentine to her. 36 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:56,041 I don't think we should send any more meats to celebrities. 37 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,177 Anyone could send shrimp. 38 00:03:00,114 --> 00:03:03,882 Am I wearing a sign that says kick me? 39 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:06,185 No, but that can be arranged. 40 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,853 Willie, get the staple gun. 41 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,288 Ha! 42 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,390 I am in no mood for you. 43 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,859 What a coincidence. 44 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,828 - What's the matter, mom? - I'm just furious. 45 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,364 They haven't finished painting my apartment yet. 46 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,866 I can't move in until tomorrow 47 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,068 so I'll have to stay here for tonight. 48 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,871 What's the good news? 49 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,574 Send that thing to its room. 50 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,976 You're off my ham list, lady. 51 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:37,015 Okay, you can come in now. 52 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,018 They've put the chicken in the yard. 53 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,087 Mom, what-what-what are you doing? 54 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,923 This guy, my new neighbor, he insisted on coming along 55 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,925 with me to help me move things. 56 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,728 Well, mom, he's not gonna believe that we have a chicken. 57 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,931 Well, fine. Tell him the truth. We have an alien. 58 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,335 Get in that henhouse! Shoo! Shoo! 59 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,836 [clucking] 60 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,408 High fescue! 61 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,611 I'm Willie Tanner. Nice to meet you, High. 62 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,279 Oh, no, that's what your grass is. 63 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,047 High fescue. 64 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,350 Oh. Oh, yeah, that's the name of the grass. 65 00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,618 We-we planted last year. 66 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:16,688 I thought your name was "High Fescue." 67 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,557 No, no, no. That would be silly. 68 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,459 My name is Whizzer Deaver. 69 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,527 [laughs] 70 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,529 It really is. 71 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,632 Oh. And this is my daughter, Kate. 72 00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:27,899 - Hi, Kate. - How do you do? 73 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:29,768 - Her son, Brian. - Say hi, Bri. 74 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,970 - Hi, Whizzer. - Hi. 75 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,273 I hope you don't mind that I'm helping your mother get settled. 76 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,574 Oh, no, no, not at all. 77 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:38,977 And do you mind if I move in with her? 78 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,112 I mind. 79 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,080 How 'bout if I get some of these boxes 80 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,415 and get out of here? 81 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,983 It was nice meeting all of you. 82 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,985 I hope to see you at the wedding. 83 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:51,657 Oh, mom, he is really darling. 84 00:04:51,659 --> 00:04:53,058 What a nice guy. 85 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,327 Dorothy, where did you ever find him? 86 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,462 - Under my sink. - Dorothy! 87 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,997 He was fixing my garbage disposal. 88 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,066 I haven't been able to shake him since. 89 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,203 Does Bob Hope still have teeth? 90 00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,640 ALF, forget it. 91 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,975 You're right. 92 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:12,678 A man his age shouldn't be eating pork. 93 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,687 And the bartender said "I was talking to the duck." 94 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,656 Oh, gee, Whizzer, you got a great sense of humor. 95 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,425 Most people don't get that joke. 96 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,826 Dorothy didn't. 97 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,861 I got it. I just didn't think it was funny. 98 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,197 I know, and I wanted to make it up to you. 99 00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,366 I hope you won't think me presumptuous. 100 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:38,704 Well, If that means pushy, then yes, I do. 101 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:41,273 Well, in that case, these are for you. 102 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:43,041 Oh, how lovely. 103 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,043 Not that I wouldn't have taken them, but I-- 104 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,945 Then I'll give them to you. 105 00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,182 Why don't we divide them up? 106 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,917 I'll put them in water. 107 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,354 What's left to be moved? 108 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:58,190 What? Oh. My suitcase here 109 00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,359 and just those things over there. 110 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,794 Ah, whose clarinet? 111 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,730 I used to fool around with one of these things. 112 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,066 Well, just don't fool around with this one, okay? 113 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,901 This belonged to my husband. 114 00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:13,572 Hey, I can dig it. A man's axe is sacred. 115 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,341 "Whizzer Deaver and the Whizztones." 116 00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:17,676 - 'Right.' - Ha! 117 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,078 You used to play in that club on Juniper Street? 118 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,081 - What was the name of that? - Club Juniper. 119 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:27,319 This is one of the greatest clarinetists who ever lived. 120 00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,154 Well, I was no Steve Allen. 121 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:32,357 Gee, I wish I could hear you play sometime, Whizzer. 122 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:33,925 Hey, I'll dig out my clarinet 123 00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:35,761 I'll bring Dorothy over some night 124 00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,363 and we'll have a little jam session. 125 00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:39,431 What night? 126 00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,932 - Tonight. - I'm busy. 127 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,902 Doing what, mom? 128 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,937 Well, we have to divide the flowers.. 129 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,006 (ALF) 'Ha!' 130 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:51,176 And then we're going to butcher the chicken! 131 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:03,388 We have got to go to a hockey game sometime. 132 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,190 I'll look into season tickets. 133 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:09,394 Seriously, I caught the game on the tube last night. 134 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,062 Fantastic! 135 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,632 Skating, shooting the puck 136 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,934 hitting each other with sticks. 137 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,136 It's just like klane ball. 138 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,706 Except in klane ball, there's no skating or puck. 139 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:28,647 A pickle. You? 140 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,981 No, thank you. 141 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:33,652 I meant, did you do this? 142 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:34,886 Yeah. 143 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:41,493 Your ham came back. Insufficient postage. 144 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:44,896 How much does it cost to mail a ham in this state? 145 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,098 ALF, you sent it fourth class. 146 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,168 So? On Melmac, we had first class 147 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:54,239 second class, fish and ham. 148 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:58,009 I think we lost fish and ham when the postage rates went up. 149 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,913 Oh, mom, uh, Whizzer called. 150 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,683 Alright, Whizzerman! 151 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:07,752 Hello, to most of you. 152 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,521 I wouldn't take that, Willie. 153 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,493 Mom, what if I had you and Whizzer over for dinner? 154 00:08:14,495 --> 00:08:16,361 Very casual. Just pot luck. 155 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:19,030 Honey, Mr. Deaver is a nice guy. 156 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:23,435 But I am not, repeat not interested in a relationship. 157 00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:26,371 Dorothy, I'd like to say something about this 158 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:28,173 and I don't mean to be too critical 159 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:31,443 but you're saving yourself for a corpse. 160 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,779 - ALF!! - Well, she is. 161 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,048 And I'm not the only one who thinks so. 162 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,619 - What do you mean? - I talked to Sparky. 163 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:43,221 You talked to my husband? 164 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:47,292 I guess I never mentioned my ability to contact the dead. 165 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:50,228 I think we would've remembered that. 166 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,864 Everyone on Melmac could do it. 167 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,300 Sometimes we'd just sit around after dinner 168 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:59,804 and if there was nothing good on TV, we'd chat with the dead. 169 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:05,210 You never talked to Sparky. 170 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,413 You don't believe me? Then, I'll prove it. 171 00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:13,718 Sparky's favorite food was French toast with gravy, right? 172 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,022 - Did you tell him that? - No. 173 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:20,225 And you didn't tell me that Sparky called her Dodo either. 174 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:23,662 - Uh, Dodo? - Yep. 175 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:28,833 He always said "I hope my Dodo finds somebody else." 176 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:32,003 Oh yeah, he also thought the funeral was very tasteful. 177 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,441 ALF, this really isn't very funny. 178 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:41,112 Just wait a minute. I want to know how ALF knows all this. 179 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:44,215 I told you. I talked to him. 180 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,885 Alright. Alright. Then prove it. 181 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,754 - 'Oh, mom!' - Please. 182 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:53,892 - Let-let me talk to him. - When? 183 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:57,562 - Now. Tonight. - Well, it's been a while. 184 00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,864 I mean, I can't guarantee anything. 185 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,967 The smog here is so thick. 186 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,435 - Oh, oh. Excuses.. - Oh, yeah, sure. 187 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,970 Then you wouln't be able to I suppose. 188 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:09,975 Alright! We'll chat with the dead. 189 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,044 Except if there's something good on TV tonight. 190 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,485 Are you sure this is alright to wear to a seance? 191 00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:22,120 It looks fine. 192 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,623 Maybe you should tuck your blouse in. 193 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,125 What difference does it make what you wear? 194 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,164 I guess it does make a difference. 195 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:37,102 Dorothy, they may be dead but they're not blind. 196 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:39,404 That is my scarf. 197 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,072 And my earring. 198 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:45,644 There are no possessions in the realm of the dead. 199 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,179 Come on, come on, let's get this over with. 200 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,015 Keep your shirt on. 201 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,150 You haven't talked to the guy in ten years. 202 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,152 Two more minutes won't kill you. 203 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,355 Oh, I went to three stores, ALF. 204 00:10:57,357 --> 00:11:00,191 Everybody was out of black candles. 205 00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,861 What is this, National Seance Day? 206 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,030 Alright, these will have to do. 207 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,798 - Isn't that our goldfish bowl? - Yeah. 208 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,367 - Where's our goldfish? - He's fine. 209 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:13,338 Oh, by the way, nobody flush the toilet. 210 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,874 Our goldfish bowl is on the table 211 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,609 and our goldfish is in the toilet. 212 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:20,211 Obviously, you know what you are doing. 213 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,514 Thank you. Alright, folks, sit down. 214 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,518 Uh, where is Brian? 215 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,886 [toilet flushing] 216 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:31,122 Uh-oh. 217 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,558 Small price to pay for contacting the dead. 218 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,961 Let's move on. Someone wanna hit those lights? 219 00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,463 Yeah. 220 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,133 [rattling] 221 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:53,878 Incidentally, I'll be the only one asking questions. 222 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,415 - Why you? - What did I just say? 223 00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,985 Now, if you'll all join hands and close your eyes. 224 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,923 All the way, Willie. 225 00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,092 I'm sorry. 226 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,461 I'm going into a trance now. 227 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,498 [braying] 228 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,772 [exhaling] 229 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:24,109 You don't have to make rude noises. 230 00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,511 That's alright, I don't mind. 231 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,113 [braying] 232 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,950 Come on, come on. Get on with this. 233 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,952 I'm nervous enough already. 234 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,754 We're moving on. 235 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:40,658 Hello. Hello. 236 00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:46,197 I'm trying to reach Sparky.. 237 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,800 What was your last name again? 238 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,535 Halligan. 239 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,504 Halligan. 240 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:57,041 Sparky, come in. 241 00:12:57,043 --> 00:13:00,779 It's me, Gordon. 242 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:03,681 Gordon Shumway. 243 00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:09,254 (Sparky) 'Gordon? Is that you?' 244 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,322 I don't believe this. 245 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:17,495 Sparky. Yo, what's the good word? 246 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:21,366 (Sparky) 'Can't complain. Death's been good to me.' 247 00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,970 Oh, my God. That sounds just like him. 248 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,706 It sounds like Teddy Ruxpin. 249 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,410 That's what dad sounded like. 250 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:38,850 Sparky, I'm sitting right here next to the widow Halligan. 251 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,985 (Sparky) 'My little Dodo?' 252 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,488 Sparky? Sparky? Is this really you? 253 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:48,026 Quiet. Can we let the deceased get a word in edgewise? 254 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:52,764 Sparky, talk to Dorothy. 255 00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:56,034 Give us a sign. 256 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:59,103 [bowling ball knocking over pins] 257 00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,507 He left the seven. 258 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:07,312 That's Sparky, then. He always left the seven. 259 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:11,316 Oh, sweetheart, it's you, it's you. 260 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,051 He's up there. 261 00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:16,054 It's you, it's you. 262 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,555 Mom, let's not be too hasty. 263 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,725 I believe your father was talking. 264 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:24,896 We only have a few seconds left, Sparky. 265 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:30,635 Tell Dodo what you told me the other day. 266 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,673 (Sparky's) 'Dodo, if you should meet a man you like' 267 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,642 'well, go for it.' 268 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:43,348 Oh, Sparky, I-I-I don't know what to say. 269 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,383 'As I was saying..' 270 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,753 [tape recorder rewinding] 271 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:49,854 What does that mean? 272 00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,590 Uh-uh, it means the seance is over. 273 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:55,526 Hit the lights! Break out the refreshments! 274 00:14:55,528 --> 00:15:00,198 And no questions, please. I'm still in a trance. 275 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:04,669 You're going to be in a coma if this is what I think it is. 276 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:07,372 This is my new tape recorder. 277 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:10,008 - Tape recorder? - Wait, I can explain. 278 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,910 So can I. You're a fraud. 279 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:15,680 Alright, ALF. Out with it! And we want the truth! 280 00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:21,085 The truth is not all of what you just saw is real. 281 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:24,589 Oh, well, this-this wire is real. 282 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:29,727 This is a real fine hole in our dining room table. 283 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,397 Where was I supposed to put the flashlight? 284 00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:35,566 By the way, did that work for you? 285 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,869 Brian, you had better leave the room 286 00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:40,805 there is going to be some swearing now. 287 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,907 I wanna hear the swearing. 288 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:45,743 - We're not going to swear. - I am! 289 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,812 Count me in. 290 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:50,581 Come on, Brian, I think we better go. 291 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,318 - I'm going with you. - Stay where you are. 292 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,919 Just a minute, you little creep. 293 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,487 I would like to know something. 294 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,123 Where did you get all this information about my life? 295 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,292 - Promise you won't hit me. - Yes! 296 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,361 Easy. I went through your things. 297 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,265 Well, I mean, I thought it would make you feel better 298 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,167 about going out with the Whizzer. 299 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,502 Whizzer? Whizzer? 300 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,505 Look, I've had it up to here with Whizzer! 301 00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,474 Just let me tell you something, buster. 302 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,177 I don't need any help from you or anybody else 303 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:22,113 on how to live my life, okay? 304 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,748 Now, when one of you has time 305 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,117 one of you can give me a ride to my apartment. 306 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:30,822 No, mom. Wait, wait, wait! You are in big trouble. 307 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,258 You know, for what you paid, you could've gotten 308 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,027 a better tape recorder. 309 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:37,395 It was on sale! 310 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:42,367 Hey, wait a minute! What about those refreshments? 311 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:45,436 I made little cookies in the shape of Sparky! 312 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:54,779 [doorbell rings] 313 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:05,189 Jack Rabbit Courier. Package for Dorothy Halligan. 314 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:08,726 Uh, yeah, that's me, but.. 315 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,061 Sign here. 316 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:15,333 - Hey, just movin' in. - Brilliant. 317 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,402 Yeah, I could tell. 318 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:20,071 Yeah, the wife and I are lookin' for a new place. 319 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:22,206 Oh, what kind of square footage have you got here? 320 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,408 I don't know. 321 00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,876 Mind if I measure? 322 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:29,347 Now is not really a good time. 323 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:32,383 Oh. Uh, when would be a good time then? 324 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,685 The 15th of August. 325 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:38,089 Two years from now when my lease is up. 326 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,657 Good enough. 327 00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,341 Oh. 328 00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,845 What in the world.. 329 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,551 Oh, no, no! 330 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,586 Whoa! What a rough trip. 331 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:12,090 It's like being sent "ham class." 332 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,192 Just get out of here! 333 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,726 Dorothy, please. 334 00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:17,862 I came all the way over here to talk to you. 335 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:22,900 Lucky for you, I haven't unpacked the knives yet. 336 00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:27,205 Alright. I admit that the seance was a cruel trick 337 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,040 but I did it all for you. 338 00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:33,044 Oh, fine, you humiliated me for my benefit. Thank you. 339 00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:36,747 No. I didn't count on humiliation. 340 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,483 That was sort of a bonus. 341 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,286 I know those knives are here somewhere. 342 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,654 Hey, look, look. 343 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,124 I know how you must've felt about Sparky. 344 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,327 It's not easy to lose something you love. 345 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:53,097 I know. I lost my whole world. 346 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:58,469 But at some point, we just have to turn the page and move on. 347 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,406 You know something, you're in the wrong game. 348 00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,509 You should be a shrink. 349 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,177 Actually I'm only three hours short 350 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,513 of my masters in psychology. 351 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,984 Well, don't try any of that stuff with me! 352 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,487 You know, I think what's really bugging you 353 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,656 is that I'm onto something. 354 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,424 I think I've hit a nerve. 355 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:23,594 Well, thank you very much for the speech 356 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:25,096 you can run along now. 357 00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:28,499 I'm sure you'll have no problem catching a cab. 358 00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,035 [doorbell rings] 359 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,136 I'll get that. 360 00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,972 You're busy being defensive. 361 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,707 You get down! 362 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,709 - Oh! - You'll shut up! 363 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,444 - 'Throw me a magazine.' - No! 364 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:42,747 'Or a flashlight.' 365 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,520 Shh! 366 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,392 Hi. Hi! 367 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,560 - Hi, Dorothy. - Hi. 368 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:56,661 Happy Valentine's Day! 369 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:59,897 Happy Val.. Oh, what's that? 370 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,499 Don't worry. It's nothing romantic. 371 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,467 You left your knives in the truck. 372 00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:07,538 Oh! Oh, what good timing. 373 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,410 Well, I guess I'll be going. 374 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,645 - Okay. - Okay. 375 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:18,149 Unless you'd like to come in for a minute. 376 00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:20,084 What? 377 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:23,754 I just said, unless you'd like to come in for a minute. 378 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:27,258 - What do you want moved? - Nothing, nothing. 379 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:31,662 I just thought you might want to come in for a minute. 380 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,731 Okay, but I don't have a stopwatch. 381 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,400 You'll have to tell me when my minute is up. 382 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,269 Don't worry about it. 383 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,272 What's this? I don't remember bringing that one in. 384 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,108 Oh, that. That's an old fur. 385 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,110 A ratty old fur. 386 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:48,279 I'll probably leave it for goodwill. 387 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:51,249 Or else I'll have a hat and gloves made out of it. 388 00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,453 Nice view.. 389 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,121 ...of a much nicer building. 390 00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:01,025 I don't guess you'll be doing any naked cooking. 391 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,863 - I don't get it. - What do you mean? 392 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:10,201 What-what is it exactly that you want from me? 393 00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:12,203 I don't want anything from you. 394 00:21:12,205 --> 00:21:13,971 I just like you, that's all. 395 00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:19,043 Look, if you ever need anything, I'm right down the hall.. 396 00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:21,812 ...next to the ice machine. 397 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:27,118 I like you, too...Whizzer. 398 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:31,989 I think we're going into our second minute. 399 00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,659 Look, I just want to say something, okay? 400 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,260 - Shoot. - 'Good.' 401 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:40,097 I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been a little distant. 402 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:43,734 Abrasive. Distant, I meant distant. 403 00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,002 No, abrasive. You're right. 404 00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:46,671 - I was abrasive. - Abrasive, yeah. 405 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,839 See, it's just that.. 406 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,741 ...I'm having trouble letting go, you understand? 407 00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:51,976 I mean, my husband, he.. 408 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:54,512 My husband was my whole life. 409 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:57,682 And I'm, uh, I'm beginning to realize that.. 410 00:21:57,684 --> 00:22:00,284 ...it's getting to be the time 411 00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,353 where I should turn the page.. 412 00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,823 Well, I'm a pretty good page turner 413 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,658 if you ever need any help. 414 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:12,697 I just don't know where to start. I.. 415 00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,031 Well, we could eat. 416 00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:17,802 All I have unpacked is soy sauce. 417 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,970 Great! I'll get the glasses. 418 00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:23,274 Or we could go to a restaurant. 419 00:22:23,276 --> 00:22:26,043 Yeah, that's good, that's good. We could do that. 420 00:22:30,983 --> 00:22:37,288 Listen, I really don't think I have much use for this anymore. 421 00:22:37,290 --> 00:22:39,323 Would you like me to sell it for you? 422 00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:44,362 No. No, I was hoping maybe you'd play it for me sometime. 423 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,098 I'd love to. 424 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,137 Goodbye, and thanks. 425 00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:55,673 Superstition. 426 00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:58,409 I always say goodbye to an empty room. 427 00:22:58,411 --> 00:23:00,077 It's good luck. 428 00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:14,258 Well, that's great, mom. Congratulations. 429 00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:17,194 Okay, I will. We'll see you soon then. 430 00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:18,429 Bye-bye. 431 00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:19,764 Guess what? 432 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:21,665 Mom went out with Whizzer. 433 00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:23,033 No kidding. 434 00:23:23,035 --> 00:23:24,435 He took her to the club Lucerne. 435 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:25,669 Now, they're out bowling. 436 00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:26,871 That's terrific. 437 00:23:26,873 --> 00:23:28,939 I wonder what made her change her mind? 438 00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:30,508 - ALF. - ALF? 439 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:31,776 I don't get it, either. 440 00:23:31,778 --> 00:23:34,011 All she said was, "Tell ALF, thanks." 441 00:23:34,013 --> 00:23:36,447 You know, I haven't seen him around 442 00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:38,449 all night tonight, have you? 443 00:23:38,451 --> 00:23:39,750 He's probably in the garage 444 00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:42,787 trying to contact Brian's goldfish. 445 00:23:42,789 --> 00:23:44,422 [doorbell rings] 446 00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:52,163 Jack Rabbit Courier. 447 00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:57,001 [instrumental music] 448 00:23:59,305 --> 00:24:00,871 [chuckles] 449 00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:06,343 [theme music] 450 00:24:28,734 --> 00:24:30,367 [music continues] 451 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,237 [ALF laughing]